12.9.2017

Dear Daughters,

Something amazing happened today!

We went to the dentist at the hospital…..

Mummy has beautiful teeth apparently, the dentist was super impressed!!  But, that is not the amazing story I have to share.

After the dentist appointment we went and sat down in the cafe. We were with mummy’s friend and her little girl but they had left us for a few minutes to go to the toilet.

I had a women, who looked like a nurse come up to me and say ” Are you Samantha?” and of course I responded with “yes” (because that’s my name, DUH)

Then she said “your mum is waiting for you up in chemotherapy”.. I felt a bit of emotion and instantly said “oh, that’s not me” while she had a look around the cafe I then followed with “that is my name though…” and she said “oh, she told me that she was in the cafe with her kids”…

Let me just tell you that I was the ONLY one in the cafe with kids!!!! and why did this women walk in and say this to me as my friend went to the toilet for not even 5 MINUTES!! I should probably add that I had looked at the clock moments earlier and the time was 12:12 (not 100% sure what that time means but surely it has to be something special!)

As my friend came back just as this women left I told her what happened and we both felt very emotional…

What do I take from that!?

I have been struggling girls, really struggling! I miss my mum so much each and every day and feel a deep pain from not having her in my physical life.. the emotional baggage I have buried deep within from this one life event I experienced in childhood has come to surface slowly over the past few years. Within the past month I have been opening up and letting the pain into my life, focusing on healing my soul from the inside.

Could this be her way of coming into my life to tell me that she is here….?

What happened to me today was far beyond a ‘coincidence’. I believe there is a deeper meaning. Everything happens for a reason and I want to believe that my mum is subtly finding her way into my life to tell me that it is okay to heal and to finally be set free from the pain that I feel on a daily basis from not having her here.

I believe that Anxiety, Depression, Fear, Failure and more have all manifested in my body because of my mums passing.

I am choosing the time now to heal, to be set free and what an amazing gift today was!

I love you both so much and I will restore my mind,body and soul for our future my babies, I promise! you are my inspiration to change.

Aren’t we so lucky to always have a beautiful Angel looking down on us.

Love Mummy

xx